Life Lesson #3

Hi my loves. So yesterday I got to thinking and I came up with life lesson numero tres to share with you guys. Here it is: Don't take anything for granted.

Here's the back story as to how I came up with this life lesson. I am a swimmer. It's my senior year and I'm a captain. It's been great. Last year my shoulder was giving me a problem when I did backstroke. This year it has gotten worse. Now it bothers me during freestyle and backstroke. Not only does it bother me during swimming, but it is starting to bother me during school. It hurts to take on and off a jacket, to put up my hair, almost anything. I'm very uncomfortable. So I went to see the trainer. She told me to ice it and keep coming back. So I did.

This past Thursday, December 12th, was our first meet. An event I was put in was the 400 Freestyle Relay. All I had to do for this relay was swim 100 Freestyle. It's 4 laps. I wasn't too worried about it. I did it, but got out sobbing. My shoulder hurt so bad. So I went back to the trainer on Friday. She asked me how my shoulder was, I said it was worse. She told me to sit out practice on Friday. I hate sitting out and watching people swim. It really sucks. But I did it. Then I rested the weekend and went back yesterday. Same routine. I had to sit out again.

Then two more kids from my team were in the trainer's office when I was. They were getting reevaluated from Friday and were cleared to swim a normal practice again. They were complaining that they actually had to swim and couldn't take it easy. They couldn't slack off yesterday. One was a senior and one was a freshman. I told them at least they could swim. That they should be thankful they get to. It's my senior year and I don't know when I will be able to swim again because I don't know what's wrong with me. And it sucks.

Then I was on Twitter today and found a picture that summed up everything that I have been feeling the past few days. Here it is:
          "Athletes: Don't take the sport you play for granted. Every time you play, you better be damn           thankful that you get to do something you love. Don't show up to practice complaining about not wanting to be there; you're there hopefully because you love it. Work hard every moment. If you're not working hard, you don't deserve to play. Play every practice or game like it's your last because it very well could be. When you finally reach the day that you can't play, and you can only watch, then you will know how much you love something that you once took for granted."

Sitting out during those practices made me realize how lucky I was to be able to swim all these years and made me hope that soon I will be cleared to practice normally again. I got X-rays done on my shoulder today, so hopefully I will be swimming normally soon. Fingers crossed!

xoxo, Hayley

Life Lesson #2

Hey blogger babes. I have come to you all with part 2 of my Life Lessons. This one is to appreciate what you have. Again, you may roll your eyes and be like "yeah, whatever" but seriously.

For example, tonight I'm sitting on my couch watching Hawaii Five-0. All of a sudden I get a text from one of the kids I swim with saying, "Please tell me we are getting jackets this year for swim." I have said previously that my mom is in charge of the apparel. Not only that, but she is in charge of the booster club for this year. Now, I have talked to almost all of the seniors about getting shirts, sweatpants, and sweatshirts for this year. Everyone thought it was a great idea. Not only have I been talking to people about it, but we already have jackets. We got Northface-like jackets my sophomore year. The text he sent me was then followed up by, "Like it's out senior year we should do a couple of fund raisers and get really nice jackets. The teams like pretty much done after us." Let me break this down for you. 1) We do fundraisers over the summer and literally no body participates in them. We do the fundraisers so the swimmers don't have to pay for the apparel, to take care of the banquet, and to take care of swimmer/senior gifts at the banquet. Over the summer we did a bowling fundraiser where people buy a $15 ticket to bowl for 2 hours and the swim team gets $10 out of every $15. We had a 41 people show up, but 7 of those 41 were swimmers. Most of the people who showed up were either league bowlers because I work at the bowling alley or families. Not many people responded. The other fundraiser we did this summer was Celebrate Ludlow. We sold water, soda, and chips. Again, we had 5 swimmers sign up out of the 30-35 kids we have. Not even parents signed up. AND LET IT BE KNOW THAT THIS KID DID NOT PARTICIPATE IN EITHER FUNDRAISER. Now 2) The team is not done after we leave. The girl's team still has a lot of underclassmen, and from what I heard, the boy's team might have a few underclassmen. It's not like we're the whole team, cause we're not.

So I politely told him that the new swimmers are getting the jackets we have now and the whole team is getting the shirts, pants, and sweatshirt combo. His response, "wwwaaaaahhhhhh seniors should get really nice jackets. Like swimming was literal out lives and idk I just think we should get something really nice for our senior year." Followed by, "Like I would actually spend the money for it." The seniors get blankets with a team picture on them among other things for our senior gifts. I know I am not the only one who has waiting 4 years for those blankets. I would say the blankets alone are a really nice thing for the seniors. Again, I state that we already have nice jackets. So that's what I told him-- that we already have jackets and we get blankets at the end of the year.

This kid will not drop this. He responds with, "I know but I mean the kind of jackets the boys soccer team has. Those really nice ones they got for state champs." Our boys' soccer team is good, very good. Two years ago, they won states for the second or third time in a row, so every boy on the varsity team got jackets. The jackets they got are nice jackets, but they only got them for winning states. They did not get them for being seniors. I also took this as him pretty much shitting on the apparel we're getting this year even though he has not seen it yet. I really wanted to tell him that if he wants a jacket like that so bad, then he would have to win states. Instead, I went with, "The stuff we're probably getting this ear is nice too though. And we are getting like a lot this year." His response, "I told Karen too and she said it's a good idea and maybe the seniors can get theirs paid for with fundraiser money and other swimmers can buy their own. Idk."

HE WENT TO THE COACH BEFORE HE TALKED TO ANYBODY ELSE ABOUT THIS. At that point I was beyond pissed off. I did not want to deal with this conversation anymore. All I responded with was, "I'll look into them." Maybe him or his parent should go to a damn booster club meeting. Like if you don't go, you should not have the right to complain about anything. You're practically irrelevant. Like legit, this might sound super mean, but I don't really care at this point. Appreciate what you already have because people would probably kill for what you have. I legit get so many compliments on the jackets we have now. Why do we need 2 jackets? We don't. Like oh my goodness.

Remember kids, appreciate what you have. Appreciate what you get. People don't have to be as nice as they are to allow you to receive what you get. So take what you get and don't bitch about it. That is my Life Lesson #2.

Magic Tricks

Hey friends. I don't know about you guys, but magic tricks blow my minds. I love them. Well my AP Statistics teacher know how to do magic and today in class he was doing magic tricks. So he comes up to me with a deck of cards and asked me if I had anything personal. So I was like my phone and my hair-tie. So he took my hair-tie and took a car but he said it was too light. Then he took my phone and a card and said it was too heavy. So he put the hair-tie under the phone so he could slide cards under it. Then he had me pick a card. I picked the 7 of spades. So I put my card back and he shuffled the deck. He showed me the bottom card and asked me if it was my card. It wasn't. So he repeated the process. The next card was not my card. This happened until there were 3 cards that were not my card under phone. So he brought a kid in my class over and asked me if I believed the kid was in on the trick. I was like yeah sure. Then he asked if I believed the kid could pick my card. I was like sure. So the kid picked a card. It wasn't my card. That card also went under my phone. Then my teacher was like maybe the only person who could pick your card is you. So he took the 4 wrong cards from under my phone, tapped them a few times, and fanned them out. He told me to pick a card that I would pick if my card was there. So I picked one. He tapped them again and told me to pick it. I picked it and IT WAS MY CARD. Mind = blown. I have no idea how that happened. My mind is still blown. Best thing that's happened to me all day.

Life Lesson #1

Hey blogger babies. So over the past couple of weeks I have learned a very important thing. Losing a friend is one of the worst things one will ever experience. Trust me. Sure it sounds a little cliche and some might roll their eyes and think, "yeah, I know" but nobody will ever truly know what it feel like until it happens. 

One might describe the feeling as a dull ache. An ache in your chest that is more apparent at times and less apparent at others, but still there nonetheless. Passing that person in the hallway and them not giving you a second glance. At that very moment you realize the person that you can tell anything to - judgement free - is no longer there. The one person that you can go to with a personal problem or question and will console you, but still give you a straight answer. Someone who you can joke with at times, but be serious with at others is no longer that person anymore. 

I believe that everyone has a person - one male and one female. Whoever your people are, they get you. They get your quirks and your weirdness and all the little things that make you you. When you lose one of your people, it almost feels like you lost a little bit of yourself. 

Luckily, in my case, I'm slowly getting that person back. Things got a bit rough for those couple of weeks, but I feel like things are getting back to normal again. I really hope they do because I've really missed my friend. I would never wish the loss of a true friend on anyone. 

Well, that's it my dears. Keep that life lesson in mind! You don't want to experience that pain. Trust me. It sucks.

Why Can't We Be Friends?

Hey babes! So a lot has happened since the last time I've written. I worked up the nerve to tell my friend (let's call him Bob) that I was attracted to him but still wanted to be friends without making things weird. Like we both agreed on that and whatever. BUT HE'S BEING WEIRD. Like the day after I told him, we took the SATs together, and we were in different classrooms, but he was in the same class with the girl that I carpooled with. So my class was the first people to finish the SATs. We finished like a good 10 minutes before everyone else. And of course, his class was the last class to finish. As people we knew were walking out, we'd jokingly ask what time they started because my class was done so early. Well I asked him and my friend that and he was like "I don't know," in kind of a mean tone. So I was like whatever like I brushed it off. So then my two friends and I were going to Panera afterwards and one of my guy friends was like oh I wanna come. Well, he was like I'll ask Bob if he wants to come too. So when they came out he did and Bob looked at me and was like "I don't feel good." So I was like well that was kinda personal I guess. But again, I brushed it off. Then, like 3 days later, I had to text him a question about the boys' cross country team. This was the conversation:
"Hey, what time does your bus for your meet leave today?"
"2:30 I think"
"Okay, is it okay if me and kenzie went to take a picture of all the seniors in their uniforms for yearbook?"
"Don't ask me" and then (because I think he felt that was too mean) "Ask the captains"
"Alright" (and then because I thought it was too mean) "Thanks"

So I mean, that was a pretty cold conversation. And then, we're in the same math class, and I went to see our math teacher after school one day to talk about something. My friend went with me for moral support, so she saw this and then told me. I'm talking to my math teacher and he walks in, stops where the door handle is, looks at me, and rolls his eyes. Then he walks to the back of the room. So she goes over there and they start conversing. Then she's like, "Why are you here?" and he was like "To get extra help" and shes like "ohh" and he's like "but I never seem to get it" and shes like "why?" and he's like (looking at me with daggers) "Because someone's always here." I SHIT YOU NOT, THIS IS WHAT SHE TOLD ME.

No to mention that he doesn't talk to me anymore, doesn't make eye contact, and will barely acknowledge my existence, if at all.

So now I'm questioning what he said when he said he wanted to still be friends. This is his exact statement. "Of course I still want to be your friend." OH REALLY, YOU DO? Cause I think friends talk to each other, smile at one another, actually acknowledge each others existence. I'm trying to be your friend, but I don't really know what else I can do. If you don't want to be friends anymore, I would rather you just tell me. Sure it would hurt, but I would respect your decision eventually. It would really suck though because you were one of my best friends.

I don't understand why, out of the both of us, he's the one being weird. He should be flattered. If someone told me that they liked me, I would be flattered. Even if I didn't like them like that, I'd still be flattered. I just don't know what to do anymore.

If by some chance, you're reading this (and by "you're" I mean Bob) please let me know if you actually want to be friends, or what's going through your head so I'm not second guessing myself. Thanks.

AP Statistics

Hey babes! So I have AP Stats and my teacher is kind of goofy. He has a Portuguese accent and like it's really hard to understand him sometimes. But he ignores me I swear! My sister had him last year and she said that he can hear everything. Well yesterday I was in class and he asked us a question and the answer was unusual factor. Well everyone in the class was looking for the answer so it was wicked quiet. I said "unusual factors" in like a normal talking voice so he should have heard me with the quiet class. He just looks around waiting for someone to give him the answer. So a little bit louder, "unusual factors." Same reaction. Then I like yell "UNUSUAL FACTORS." He is still looking around waiting for someone to answer. The only reason he acknowledged me that time is because my ring hit the desk and made a noise. Then I calmly stated my answer. Then like two minutes later he asked another question and the answer was spread. So again, everyone else was looking for the answer and I said spread. He didn't hear me. So I say it a little bit louder. Someone else hears me, says "spread," and he hears them. I don't get it.

I Am Not An Idiot!

Hey guys! So this post is gonna be kinda like a rant, as you could probably tell from the title. Like I said in previous posts, my parents are getting a divorce. I'm not sure if I mentioned this or not, but like the week after my parents said they were getting a divorce, my mom tells my sister and I that she has a boyfriend. That's not even what this rant is about. Well, it kind of is, but you'll see. Anyways so the past couple of weeks I have been noticing strange things which makes me think that my mom and her boyfriend are moving in together. Here that are:

1. A few weeks ago my mom asked me "if you could have any color room, what color would it be?" So I was like "I don't know, like a lavender I guess. Why?" And she's like "just wondering" WHO JUST WONDERS ABOUT STUFF LIKE THAT?! NO ONE. 

2. They got a cat. The cat had to live somewhere right?

3. I don't know how I did this, but somehow I pressed a button on Facebook that gave me a gps signal oft mom's phone. My mom is supposed to be staying at my grandparents house. This signal placed her phone on a street that wasn't my grandparents. And it's not like this happened in the middle of the day. It was like 1-2 in the morning.

4. I was putting away the shipment of food at work the other day and I was putting away the straws, which come in a big box. So I'm putting away they fries, yanno, doin my thing and she comes over and was like "do you have any more boxes like that?" And I was like "We have some outside but they're broken down. Why?" And she was like "I need some." And I was like "why?" But she wouldn't answer me. 

5. Today I walk into the house and I see cups lined up on the counter. So I ask my dad where we got the cups. And he said that my mom wanted them and that we had them for a while. Why would my mom need cups if she was at my Mimi's house? My Mimi has cups. My Mimi has plenty of cups. My Mimi does not need anymore cups. Suspicious. 

And that, my blogger babies, is why I think my mom is moving in with her boyfriend and thinks that she can get away with not saying anything. I am not an idiot. I notice a lot of things and I end up putting two and two together.

De-friendzoning?

Hey my blogger babies! So today I was pondering the question, "Is it possible to defriendzone someone?" I mean, obviously I know that you can date one of your friends, but that isn't defriendzoning. Know what I mean? Friendzoning is when you previously shut the other person down. Like "I'm sorry, I don't like you like that" or whatever. I mean, I guess it's possible, but I feel like it would be difficult to do. The person you placed in the friendzone would have to still have feelings for you first of all. Second of all, you would have to come out and say that you have feelings for them without knowing if they still have feelings for you or not. I'm not saying that it can't be done, but I feel like it would be very nerve racking.
What got me pondering this question is the friend of mine that I am attracted to. I keep recalling this one time during Sophomore year that our friends were all hanging out and he kept trying to hold my hand and he would have my hand for like a second but then I would talk with my hands and whatnot. So I mean, I guess I friendzoned him? But now I'm attracted to him, but I don't know if he feels the same way, and I don't want to say anything until I know for sure because I don't want our friendship to be awkward and we have at least one class together every single day and it could all turn into one big mess. (I am fully aware that is like one big run on sentence, but this is actually how I talk so bare with me.)
Anyways, I am going to try to put my feelers out and see if anybody knows anything. I'm going to try talking to one of my best friends who's boyfriend is his best friend to see if she knows anything. But I am going to swear her to secrecy (obvi) cause I am not an amateur. Hopefully I will get somewhere with that and will not be left with more questions. Fingers crossed!

Much love,
Hayley
     xox

ps. if this friend happens to be reading this and happens to know I'm talking about him, please just be straight forward whether you like me or not because Lord knows I won't be. That would be greatly appreciated.

Making People Happy

Hey guys. So for some reason I feel like it's my job to make people happy. Like when somebody is upset, I feel the need to cheer them up or even just make them smile. If someone is crying, I just want to give them a hug. When someone tells me that I made they're day, they make my day. I feel better when someone goes from sad to happy. 

But because of this, I am constantly second guessing myself on what I'm doing to make sure I'm not misleading people with my kindness. I don't want my guy friends to think I have a crush on them because I'm being nice. If I do have a crush on someone, I second guess myself to make sure that I'm not being wicked obvious with my infatuation with them. Ya feel me? 

Well today, one of my guy friends had a cross country meet. I was walking out of the school from volleyball practice and I saw his car in the parking lot. I was going to put a note on his windshield that said, "Good luck at your meet! Hope you do good! -Hayley :)" But then I started second guessing myself because 1) I am attracted to him and 2) I'm not sure if I want him to know that yet (cause it could get awkward and whatnot). Then I was thinking "Just do it. I'm sure he'll appreciate the nice gesture." But then I thought, "But it's kind of a girlfriendy thing to do and he'd probably catch on." I didn't end up doing it. Thinking about it now, I kinda wish I had, but he is a pretty smart guy. He knows I'm nice, but not that nice. Ya know? 

Anyways, that's about it. If you see anyone having a bad day or upset about something, try to make them feel better! It'll make you feel like you did a good thing! Bye loves! 

-Hayley

PS. I promise never to use the phrase "Ya feel me?" ever again. I definitely cannot pull that one off

Letter to a Friend

Dear friend,

I just wanted to take the time out to say thank you for all that you've done for me these past few months. I know I can turn to you with a question or whatever and you will give me great advice because you have been through it and know what I'm feeling. I probably talk to you about this the most out of anybody because of that. So I just wanted to say thank you. You don't know how much it means to me. If you ever need to talk to someone about anything, know that you can always talk to me. I will help to the best of my abilities. Anyways, thank you again! 

Love,

Hayley 

     xox

Lose-Lose Situation

Hi all! Well this post is gonna be a little like a rant. Well I went to work today and while I was there I looked at my schedule for next week. Here's the rundown. I have tomorrow off, work Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, have Friday off for a wedding, work Saturday, and have Sunday off. I have like 24 hours for next week. I mean, it kinda sucks cause I have to miss a whole week of volleyball, but it's money. But here's the lose-lose part. My mom is going to bitch that I work too much cause that's what she did with my sister. But her and my dad want me to buy my own things for the most part. To buy my own things, I need money. To get money, I have to work. But if I get too many hours, she bitches. If I don't get enough hours, she bitches. And there, my friends, is the lose-lose part. I mean, when swimming starts I'm gonna have them cut me down to maybe 1 day during the week and Saturday & Sunday. Ideally I'd work Thursday, Saturday, & Sunday. But nothing is ever ideal. Especially at AMF.

Shark Week!

Hello friends! As all of you probably know, August 4th kicked off the beginning of SHARK WEEK! YAAAAAAAY! If you were not aware of this, please come out from under that rock from which you are currently living. ANYWAYS, I love Shark Week. It is my favorite week of the whole entire year. Why you might ask? Well, sharks are my favorite animals. Again, why you might ask?

Sharks are amazing, magnificent creatures. There are so many different types of sharks. Many people think all sharks are the same or that Great White Sharks are the only sharks that exist. Well my friends, these people are sadly mistaken. There are the Great Whites, but there are also Hammerheads, Bull, Nurse, Lemon, Tiger, Sand Tiger, Black Tip and so many more. My personal fav is the Greenland Shark. The Greenland shark looks so cute. It looks like its always smiling. Its skin also make it look like the shark is made out of stone. The Greenland shark can be found from Greenland all the way to the coast of the United States.

Everyone thinks sharks are animals who like to attack humans and that they're bad creatures. This statement in itself is false. Most of the time when sharks attack, they mistake humans for seals or other types of sea creatures. A shark actually has very bad eye sight. Some sharks, like the Greenland Shark, are blind. Sharks actually help the ocean life. Sharks eat bigger fish in the sea. Without sharks, there would be more bigger fish. With more bigger fish, there would be less smaller fish. Smaller fish eat the algae off the Coral Reef. Therefore, without sharks the Coral Reef would be hidden by algae and the ocean would not be as pretty. Plus, us humans venture into there homes and create disturbance. Some people hunt sharks for Shark Fin Soup. The amount of sharks killed by humans is so much bigger than the amount of humans killed by sharks. You are more likely to be killed by a strike of lightning or even a vending machine than you are to be killed by a shark. Just think about it.

Let's reflect for a second and think about the ocean. I don't know about you guys, but it's not everyday that I think about the species that live in the ocean. When I do though, I think that it's crazy to think about a whole other world under the surface of the water. Even if you do think about the life underneath the surface, the species that are right under the surface of the water is completely different from the species on the ocean floor. There are big creatures and small creatures, Gigantic and microscopic. It truly is amazing.

Like I mentioned earlier, many people all over the world are killing sharks for Shark Fin Soup. Millions of sharks are killed each year for their fins for this soup. Sometimes sharks are pulled aboard, get their fins cut off, and are thrown back into the ocean. That is animal cruelty. Many sharks, like the Whale Shark, are harmless creatures and for them to be tortured by humans for soup is wrong. If by some chance any of you reading this eat Shark Fin Soup or know someone who does, think about this. How would you like it if someone took you into a room, cut off your arms, and threw you back out onto the street. Sharks are an endangered species at the moment. Please don't be the reason the become extinct. Instead, try to help save them.

Well, I think that is the end of my Shark Week post. Have fun watching the rest of Shark Week on Discovery Channel! I know I will!

The Good Parts

So my last post was a bit of a downer so I'm going to tell you some of the highlights of summer!

1. Senior Pictures!

***Not my baby by the way, just a friend's baby***

2. I saw Taylor Swift! 

3. I got a tattoo!

My Shitty Summer

Hi friends. I have not blogged in a while and I apologize for that. But here's what has happened this summer.

1. My friends are in like a civil war - I'm not crazy and I know exactly how this sounds. But it's true. It sucks cause we've never fought before. Well, not like this. A few days after school got out we all went to the beach and had a really good time. Then the day after that we all hung out again. That's when shit got real. Two of my friends are dating and the girls went to go listen to a song in my car and make a vine. Ya know, normal teenage girl stuff. Well, my other friend (her boyfriend) got pissed for some reason and ripped her away. They got into a big fight and made all of us uncomfortable. Yeah, that happened. Then, a few weeks ago two of my other friends got into a fight for a reason that I can't remember. But they are both stubborn and probably won't apologize to each other. And the last I remember they weren't talking to each other and I don't know. It's awkward and suckish.

2. My parents are getting divorced - There's really not much to say about that. It's kind of self explanatory.

3. My hours at work got cut - I go from working 17-20 hours a week to working 5-10 hours a week. I started looking for another job.

4. I had an interview at Men's Wearhouse - I really enjoy when people match and I really enjoy when guys dress up. So getting to dress guys up and match them is like a dream come true. They could be my own Ken dolls! I'm still waiting to hear back from them.

5. I got sun poisoning - Yeah that was fun. I went to the beach with one of my friends and we both fell asleep with no sunscreen on and we didn't think anything of it cause it was kinda cloudy. When I woke up it was sunny out but I flipped onto my stomach and went back to sleep. When we were getting ready to leave we realized how red we were. The drive home sucked so bad. That night I couldn't walk, was nauseas, dizzy, and dehydrated. It was awful.

6. I went on a date - Don't get too excited. I mean, I had a fun time and everything but I don't think there was anything there.

Well, it turns out it has been a pretty crappy summer. Except for the Men's Wearhouse interview. That was exciting :)

Relationship Struggles

Okay, so this is something I do not understand. Like at all. My friends and I were having this conversation in my study yesterday.

Like, what is talking? I mean, I understand that its the stage you're in before you're dating someone, but how do you know if you're talking to someone? If you ask your significant other and you are talking, they might be offended that you didn't know that already. But if you ask them and you aren't talking, then it's awkward. Like, how do you know if you're talking to someone?! A few of my friends have all concluded that if:

1. talk to the person everyday
2. if you get excited when they text you (which I don't think because you could just like them and get excited)
3. what kind of emojis or faces you both use when texting (winking, kiss faces, etc.)
4. if you talk in person just as much as you talk through text

 
I mean, all of these could be true. I don't even know. Another thing we were talking about is kissing & dating.

1. If you kiss someone, are you dating? No. First of all, it could be a drunk/random hookup. A one-time thing. Second of all, you could be a casual dater. Like, just go on dates without dating, ya know?
2. If say you're boyfriend/girlfriend but don't actually kiss, does it count? No. I know this girl and she and her "boyfriend" have been dating for about a month and a half but they haven't kissed yet. I don't believe that this is a legit relationship. Sure, they can be talking exclusively, are they really dating if they don't kiss? 
3. If you kiss when you're talking, are you dating? YES. I believe that if you kiss your significant other while you guys are talking, you are dating. I understand if you just don't wanna put the label on it, but if you kiss each other and someone asks if you guys are dating, you cannot say "no, we're just talking." Like no. 
4. If you talk to someone for and extended amount of time, are you dating? Again, yes. If you talk to someone for over 5 months, you are dating. Again, it's understandable that you don't wanna put a label on it, but you're not just talking. Especially if you do other things besides kiss. 

Well, I think this is all my rant. So toodles!

Ideal Boyfriend

Hi there. So my friend was playing the question game with this kid and he asked her what her ideal boyfriend would be. Well, she asked me and I've been thinking. This is what my ideal boyfriend would be like.

He'd be someone taller than me, even if only by a little bit. Someone who can make me laugh under any circumstance, whether I was sad, angry, whatever. Someone who would listen to me and care about me. Someone who I'm not afraid to be myself around; someone I'm comfortable around and vice versa. Someone who will fight with me, but then apologize because it was probably over something stupid. Someone who will kiss me in the middle of a rant just to shut me up, but I wouldn't mind because it'd be him. Someone who will hug me and/or kiss me just because. Someone who will do stupid things with me. Someone who will take my hand if we're just waiting in line somewhere. Someone who will play with my fingers if we're laying down watching a movie. Someone who will play with my hair, because I love that. Someone who will let me fall asleep with my head on their shoulder. Someone who will put their arm around me and tell me that everything is going to be okay if I'm stressing out about something or having a panic attack. Someone who will wipe a tear from my cheek and give me a hug if I'm crying; no questions asked. Most importantly, I want my boyfriend to be my best friend.

My Boys

As I've said before, I manage boys' volleyball. I started managing boys' volleyball last year when I was a sophomore. Last year the varsity team made it to playoffs. The team made it to the semi-finals and then lost, so they were out of the running for the Western Mass title. This year, we played the semi-finals against East Longmeadow and won. We advanced to the quarter finals and played Westfield. Again, we won. Now, we are going on to the finals. We are going to play Agawam on Monday. We have previously played Agawam twice in the regular season. We lost both times, so Monday's game should be interesting.

These boys really deserve to win the Western Mass title. I have spent the last month and a half to two months with them almost everyday. I've seen them work their butts off in practices and in games to make it to where they are now. I've heard them say from the beginning that they want to win this title. Especially the seniors because it's their last year.

In the quarter finals against Westfield, one of they boys got hurt and couldn't play. It especially sucked because he's a senior. Before the game started, I had to read a bunch of things and the lineups for both teams. This boy came over to me and told me that he didn't want me to read his name. At first I was like okay, but then I started thinking about it. He's part of the team if he plays or not. So with like a minute left until I had to start reading all of that stuff, I went back over to him to double check that he absolutely did not want me to read his name. He said he was absolutely sure. One of the other managers that was sitting in front of him turned around and said, "What if this is the last game?" and he responded, "It's not going to be" with complete confidence that they were going to win. When I was watching them play the third game, it dawned on me. He was so confident that it wasn't going to be the last game because they were going to win it for him. They were going to win it so he could play in the game on Monday. That literally gave me goosebumps. And they ended up winning. He was right.

Whether we win on Monday or not, they had a fantastic season. I know they will not give up no matter what. I will be proud of them no matter what the outcome is.

Senior Farewell

This year I am a junior in high school. As a class, the juniors plan prom. They also put on Senior Farewell. Senior Farewell is a final send off to the seniors from the junior class before graduation.  Senior Farewell consists of a flower part-- hold up flowers for the seniors as they walk to their seats-- a skit-- to highlight some people in the senior class-- and a candle ceremony-- the saddest part of Senior Farewell.

Well the Class of 2014 has to be the dumbest class ever. The flower part is the only thing we can get right. That's the only thing everyone is there for. Nobody wants to stay after, like, 2:30 to work on this. I have been in 4 different places for the candle ceremony because people keep leaving. The skit. Oh my God. No one shows up for that either. And if they do, they leave before we can get to their line(s). It's ridiculous. When we finally get through the whole thing, everyone's like "Can we go now?" Like their annoyed to be there. IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE TEHRE, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SIGNED UP TO DO IT.

Then, you have those people who started off as part of our class but aren't technically "juniors" because they've failed classes and stuff. Like, you shouldn't even be there. YOU ARE NOT A JUNIOR. LEAVE. WE DON'T WANT YOU HERE ANYWAYS.

Then you have those unreliable people who show up some days, and not others. We had people show up today for the first time when we've been doing this for 2 weeks. Like, leave. Get out. You don't belong here.

I can't even deal with senior farewell people anymore. OH, DID I MENTION THE ACTUAL SENIOR FAREWELL IS ON MONDAY?! Yeah, shit's gonna hit the fan then. If we don't mess up, I will be genuinely surprised.

This is supposed to be a really nice ceremony. The candle part is definitely something that is going to make me cry regardless if we mess up at all or not. The candle part is when all of the juniors outline the auditorium and each one of us is holding a candle. The lights in the auditorium are off, and when the selected song starts playing, each corner starts to light the candles. At the climax of the song we raise the candles up until a little bit before the end of the song. At the very end of the song, we all blow out the candles together. It's supposed to be really nice. This year we picked "My Wish" by Rascal Flatts as the song. If you've never heard  the song, I recommend listening to it. It'll give you goosebumps.

Well, that's about it. Wish me luck on Monday, I'll need it.

What Goes On In My Head

Today was a boring but very thought-inspiring day. I had my AP bio exam, had to stay in school, then had a volleyball game, then went to Friendly's with my friend, and then prebowled. Now I'm home. I thought I'd share some of my thoughts with you guys. Aren't you excited.

During the exam:

-What the fuck is that?

-When did we learn this shit? Oh right, we didn't.

-What does this even mean?

-I wonder if they'd notice if I just jumped out the window.

-They probably would. 

-God damn.

-Well, I'm getting a 1.

-I DON'T KNOW THIIIIIIISSSSSS.

-Well, fuck.

Staying in school:

-Why am I even here? Cause my parents hate me.

-Why are you teaching me things?!

-I'm brain dead.

-I JUST WANNA GO HOME

-I wanna go to Friendly's, yeah yeah.

Volleyball game:

-This is a boring game

-He's adorable

-This guy says like more than I do.

-I wonder what size shoes he wears.

-Does that make me weird? Yup.

-If you can't share a drink with someone, how are you going to kiss anyone?

-Why are we not done yet?

-If you're going to look at me this much, at least smile back at me when I politely smile at you.

Friendly's:

-YESSSSSS

-I've been craving this

Prebowling:

-Ew, why are you here?

-Why do you keep looking at me?

-Yes, strike!

-Wow, I suck.

Well, that's about it. That is pretty much a normal day in my head. One of my thoughts is a pretty valid question though. The one about sharing drinks and kissing. Like if you won't share a drink with someone, how are you going to kiss someone? Kissing is a lot worse than sharing a drink, germ wise. Like, when you're kissing someone, your tongues are being smooshed together. No one tongues a drink. And if you do, stop. That's gross. No one wants your backwash. 

Well that's all. Nighty night loves!

Spain!

Hi guys! Sorry I haven't written in such a long time. I have just been starting to catch up on what I missed that week I went to Spain. Yes, you did read that right. I WENT TO SPAIN! It was fantastic. It is so gorgeous there. Everywhere we went to was absolutely beautiful.

You guys will like this story. I got stuck in an elevator. That was definitely a memorable experience. After dinner one night in Fuengirola, six of my friends and myself were going back to my room in the hotel. My room was on the first floor. Why we didn't take the stairs to the first floor is beyond me, but we piled into the elevator. Literally two seconds before the elevator stopped, one of my friends was like "watch the elevator get stuck." Guess whaaaaaaat, it did. So we're like are you kidding right now? One girl is in the back corner of the elevator hyperventilating because she's claustrophobic. Once we get her calmed down, another girl starts hysterically crying. We were trying to find the emergency button when we say a sign that said "Max. 6 people." We had 7... When we locate the emergency button, we pressed it. Instead of it connecting us to the front desk like we thought it would, it connected us to the fire department. The guy on the connector didn't speak English and we didn't know Spanish. Not to mention that the guy was talking really really fast. It's a good thing someone knew the word for elevator. After a while, the guy stopped answering us. Our thought is that he gave up on us. Then the hotel staff finally got us out. We had to climb maybe two and a half feet to the first floor. The hotel people weren't mad at us though. That's a plus.

We visited Madrid, Toledo, Granada, Seville, and Fuegirola.

Creepy Van

Hi guys. This is gonna be a quick post. But there is a really creepy van sitting across the street from my house. It's been sitting there from at least 7:20 pm. It is now 11:36 pm. It looks like a rapist van. It's really creepy and I watch too many episodes of Criminal Minds and other cop shows not to know a rapist van when I see one. And I really think this is one. So, hide yo kids, hide yo wife.

Boys Volleyball

Hi there! It's Spring now! Which means Spring sports! Yaaaaaaaay! Well, some high schoolers do track, or softball, or baseball, or tennis. But not meeeeee. No no. I manage Boys Volleyball! Woooooo!

Well, there have been some things that I have noticed while I am sitting at the practices.

#1- Guys are just like little kids. They are always running and jumping for no apparent reason. And, they switch topics every 5 seconds. They'll be talking about one thing then jump into a completely different topic. It's strange.

#2- Boys show off for girls more than girls show off for guys. There are 4 managers of the boys team. All four managers are girls. None of us are romantically involved with any of the players. We're just friends with them. Nonetheless, they want to show us how strong they are, how hard they can hit the ball, how good they are at volleyball. They start doing random push-ups and pull-ups just because. And they look over at us every so often to see if we're watching them.

#3- They like to aim for us. Us managers are like targets for them. When they are doing a drill and have to spike it, they aim for us. Some more than others. A lot of the seniors like to aim for us. My theory is because I flinch a lot. I should be used to it because of girls volleyball, but they hit it harder and faster. Not only that, but I'm a flinchy person to begin with.

#4- Boys are very competitive. Well, these boys anyways. All we have had is practice so far, but even then, they all want to win. If they're doing a 6v6 drill, each side wants to win. And if I'm tossing the ball to the side who gets the point, I better get it right because they will catch it and tell me that I threw it to the wrong team. Or they will be like WOAH WOAH WOAH THE BALL IS COMING OVER HERE. It's strange. I've learned not to take it personally.

All in all, boys are a strange kind. For the most part, these guys are wicked nice. You do have some assholes in the group, but that's to be expected. Especially in my town, which I believe is douchebag central. But these guys are really nice. The underclassmen especially. They're like little puppies. They're timid until you start to play with them. Juniors, like myself, I'm all friends with so they were fine to fit in with. It's the seniors that I still have to figure out. Some of them are wicked sweeties, but others, I can't tell if they are being nice or being sarcastic just yet. Well, I have a whole season to figure it out. Wish me luck!

Management

Where I work, management is so stupid.

The uniform is a t-shirt given to the staff and black or khaki pants and black shoes. I go into work wearing the appropriate uniform every time I work. But now, they're saying that what I'm wearing is wrong because I wear yoga pants. Yoga pants are black pants, are the not?

So now I'm being told that the next time I go into work, I have to sign some stupid form saying that I will not wear yoga pants to work. So what they're telling me, is that instead of me being happy and comfortable when I work, they would rather me be unhappy and uncomfortable. Yeah, okay, that makes sense. Good one management. One of my managers said she was going to buy me pants. Is she going to buy everyone else pants? I don't think so. That's discrimination.

I do not feel comfortable in the pants that they want me to wear, the pants that are "right". I have an awkward body type because I swim. My thighs make my pant size go up a size because they don't fit the pant size that my waist is because I have very muscular legs. My legs are too long for short pants and regular pants, but too short for long pants. But that's what I have to buy anyways. So I either have to pull them up really high so I'm not stepping on them, or I have to roll them which cause uncomfortable bunching in the crotch and cause the tongue of my shoe to show. I just can't win. I feel self conscious in jeans and pants that they want me to wear.

I wear yoga pants because they fit everywhere. The fit in my waist and my thighs comfortably. They are the right length. They don't awkwardly bunch anywhere. If I have to get something out of a bottom freezer, they are comfortable to bend down in. When I wear yoga pants I don't feel self conscious anymore.

What management is telling me, is that they want me to feel badly about myself because I have an awkward body type and that normal pants look awkward on me.

Not to mention that it is perfectly okay to wear pants just as tight as yoga pants, but because they have pockets, they're appropriate. Just an FYI, yoga pants are much more flattering than a pair of pants so small on you that you can see the outline of the underwear their wearing.

Once again I say, good one management.

@#$^%$#

AHHHHHH! I'm so mad right now. Not so mad, but frustrated. This guy I work with is a complete asshole. Like, he used to be nice, but not anymore. Let me give you an example.

The uniform I have to wear to work is a blue t-shirt (that is provided for us) and black pants. Well, I had black pants, but then they ripped. Obviously I cannot wear ripped pants to work. That would be inappropriate as well as embarrassing. So I've been wearing yoga pants. Technically, they are still black pants and I look presentable and work appropriate. I don't see the big deal about yoga pants. Plus, everyone else wears them, so it isn't like it's only me. Well, this guy keeps getting on me about wearing yoga pants to work. Not anyone else, just me. So one day I asked him why I cannot wear yoga pants to work. He started like yelling at me in front of like a ton of people. He told me that yoga pants are not pants, they're leggings (this doesn't make sense because if they were leggings, they'd be yoga leggings, not yoga pants.) Then he proceeded to tell me that I'm not here to show off my butt (my shirt is too big on me and covers my butt) and that "this is not Hooters. It is an AMF bowling establishment." Well okay then. Let me just restate that he YELLED at me for asking this question and then went on that tangent. Regardless, I'm still wearing yoga pants because I have not had time to go to the mall to get pants. I just haven't.

The next time this douchedick gets on my case for wearing yoga pants to work, I'm gonna give him a choice. Until I have a chance to get to the mall, its either yoga pants or no pants. I am fine with either one. I'm a swimmer. I have walked around with no pants on before. I'm fine with it. I'll just make sure I have cute underwear on.

Not only is it just me, but half the time they don't even notice I'm wearing yoga pants. The only time they notice is if they touch my leg or something. And why should they even be touching my leg? Couldn't that be sexual harassment or something? Go ahead. Mess with me.

Well friends, I think I'm done venting. Goodnight!

Randoms

Hi there! I don't really have anything important to write about, but I wanted to write regardless. So let me just tell you about my day.

School was pointless. I didn't do anything in like any class. I did win a bouncy ball though! Weird, but fun so I'm not complaining. Oh! and I had a really hot sub in my history class/ study. Mr. Perry. God, he's gorgeous. Muscular, nice eyes, nice. Unf. So hot. So, I mean, not complaining about that part of the day(;

I had a really awkward conversation on the phone with a guy from Verizon today. It was like a twenty minute long conversation. It was super awkward. I was trying to activate my dad's new phone for him (he got a droid) and it wasn't activating for some reason. So we called customer care. The guy that helped was an awkward guy. You could just tell over the phone. THAT is how awkward this guy was. It made me uncomfortable.

So today is March 13, 2013. In exactly ONE MONTH (!!!!!!) I will be on a flight to Spain! !@#$%%$# YAAAAAY! I am so excited for this trip. Like you have no idea! ONE MONTH. Like, 30 days! dskfjlbgjkffjcf YAY!

Well, I think that's it. So, toodles!

Decoding a Text/Tweet

Hi friends! For those of you reading who have my phone number and/or text me, or for those of you following me on Twitter, I'm sure you have seen my various ways of spelling things out/talking. If you have not, or even if you have, I'm going to give you some helpful hints to determine what kind of mood I'm in! (The reason I'm making this post is because I was talking to my mom about this the other day!)

Here we go!
"Okay"= everything is good/everything is normal
"Okay."= could be better, but it'll only last a few minutes
"Kay"= skating on thin ice there buddy.
"Kay."= the ice is literally cracking beneath your feet.
"K/K."= you're drowning & there is a good chance I will never talk to you again.
**I've never actually had to pull out the "K." on someone before**
"lol cool."=very sarcastic and usually annoyed about something

Another way to tell if I'm not very happy is my use of periods. If I put one word and then a period, there's a 99% chance I'm in a bad mood. I do use punctuation though. So if I have more that one sentence, I will use a period. I'm not a cave person.

I rarely swear like bad swears. When I say this, I mean like drop the eff-bomb. Words like bitch, crap, shit are fine, but when I drop the eff-bomb, I'm either frustrated or really really mad. (Except for when I'm driving. I tend to have road rage. Runs in the family!)

So that was how to tell if I'm in a bad mood. Let's move on to more interesting things!
If I ever use a backwards smiley face that is attached to the word, I'm usually flirting. For example, if I put "hahaa yeah(:" that's probably flirty depending on the conversation. I also use the backwards smiley face when I'm being friendly. So, if I text you that, don't assume I'm trying to date you. Normal smiles are just normal. I am a nice person hahaha

If I use double letters (ex: "hahaa") I'm in a good mood.
"haha" means that I either feel awkward or don't really find anything funny.
If I put "lol" something has to be funny. And if I put "lolololol" I'm actually laughing out loud.

That's really all I can think of right now. If I think of more, I'll letcha know! But for future references, you're welcome. Oh and if any of you wanna follow me on twitter, my username is @hayleyjohnson11 :)

Volleyball Marathon: Recovery

Hello all. As I have previously mentioned, Volleyball Marathon was on Friday Night. I realize that I probably have not explained this event very well. Volleyball Marathon is an event put on by my high school once every year. It's when you teams of ten go to the school at 6pm on a Friday night and spend all night playing volleyball at scheduled times against other teams. No one can leave until 7am the next morning. Most people don't sleep because then you miss your games and such. It sounds like hell, but it's actually really fun. Each team has their own t-shirts and names and stuff. It's great. 

Well, staying up all night has its downsides. Especially when you have to work the next day. So I was up all night. I didn't sleep at all from the time I woke up for school (6:20am). I had to be at work on saturday for like 9am and hate to work until 5pm. I knew that if I took a nap inbetween 7am & 9am that getting up for work would be 10x harder than if I just stayed up. So I did. So I go through work and it's like 5:15pm. Previously my friends had asked me if I wanted to go out on Saturday night and I was like sure! I completely forgot the Volleyball Marathon was on Friday. I couldn't cancel on them so I got ready to go out. By that time I was running on pure adrenaline. No sugar, no energy drinks, nothing. I didn't end up getting home and going to bed until 11:50ish on Saturday night. 

Calculate with me, if you will, the number of hours I stayed up. 6:20am ti 6:20am is 24 hours. then 6:20am to 6:20pm is another 12 hours. So now we're up to 36 hours without sleep. 6:20pm to 11:20pm is another 5 hours. And then another 30 minutes to get to 11:50pm. All together 24+12+5+0.5= 41.5 hours without sleep. This, my friends, is complete insanity and I do not recommend it. 

You'd think I would've slept all sunday too. Nope. I slept until 11:45-11:50am on Sunday morning. 12 hours. I slept a total of 12 hours after being up for 41.5. This is not okay. To this day, I am exhausted. I do have to applaud myself though. Even though I was up for that many hours without sleep, I was not cranky nor was I a bitch to anyone. Good job Hayley! Well, this is it. That is my story. Have a good night guys! 

Volleyball Marathon

So today's volleyball marathon. It's 13 hours at your school with all the idiots you don't like. Well that sounds like fun. Not. But it usually I love volleyball marathon. Not this year. So far, I've been hit with the ball twice- once in the back and once on the face. I've been yelled at for no reason and I've been told that if I became a cheerleader, one of my best friends wouldn't really talk to me anymore. Awesome...

Humanity

Today is just one of those days where I'm done with humanity. I have given up on almost everyone in the whole world today. Which is pretty shitty cause I'm gonna have to deal with these people allllll night long. #volleyballmarathonproblems

But seriously. You have the people complaining to me about volleyball marathon. Just an FYI, I'm not even the team captain. My team wants to bedazzle our shirts when though VOLLEYBALL MARATHON IS TONIGHT. And they all want to do something different. I just hate everyone.

Then you have people who are just so narcissist. Like some people need to think about the good of the group rather than just them. I don't know.

Then you have people who only care what other people think. They make their decisions based on what people are doing to think, how they're going to act, and/or what they are going to say. I don't know why. It just aggravates me because if it makes you happy, wouldn't you wanna do it?

People are just so strange and annoying and I don't know if it's just today or if everything is getting clearer now. God I hope it's only for today.

Opinions

Omg. I can't even like ugh! I don't understand why some people care what other people think. There's a good chance no one will know what I'm talking about and I don't feel the need to explain it. I'm just ranting right now.

Like why do you even care what people think? If it makes you happy, just do it. It's your life, not theirs. And you won't even hear it! I'll hear it! And I don't give a shit. Like okay.

Not only does this apply to my situation, a lot of people can learn from this. So you're welcome.

Face + Palm = Me

fhcfjjnafafjafjufjk
Oh sorry, that was me hitting my head against the keyboard multiple times.

At this moment, I feel like the biggest idiot on the planet. It's unreal. Let me tell you what went down.

So for the past month or so, I've been really confused of what's been going on with this guy. It's not like we're talking, but it's not like friendzoned either. It was a flirtationship, if you will. Now, I don't know what to do. This girl that I work with kept telling me to ask him what's going on and/or where he sees this going. The thing is, I can't. #1- I'm not ballsy enough to do this sort of thing. #2- I'm not good at confrontation (angry confrontation, emotional confrontation, any kind of confrontation really). I do not like to do it because it does not sit very well with me. I get all nervous and shaky. I pretty much have a panic attack. #3- I didn't want to ruin a great friendship in doing this. So we were clocking off of work and I was texting the guy. So the girl that I work with took my phone and asked him what I wanted to know, but couldn't do. (In the midst of all this, I'm going into panic attack mode. AKA pacing, shaking, shallow breaths, etc). So in conclusion, the guy pretty much said that if circumstances were different, then maybe.

Where the banging my head against the keyboard thing comes into play is when I was talking to my other coworkers about this, one of them was like, "I could have easily help you out if you said something months ago!" ***The thing about this is, I don't like to tell many people at work things because like no one can keep a secret. So I'm not going to go broadcast this when I don't want my family knowing. PLUS I don't like putting myself out there if I am not at least 90% certain of the result.*** Then he started to make me all sad and stuff saying that it would never work and that maybe if I said something before maybe he'd still be here and all this other stuff that was not making me feel better. Not to mention I'm still in panic attack mode. THEN, the guy was like "sorry I'm a million miles away." Which made me realize when I was sitting in my car that I should've said something sooner and the I am indeed the stupidest, wimpiest person on the whole entire planet.

So the moral of the story is: If you have something to say, just say it. Don't be a wimp because it could come back to bite you in the ass later on.

I do realize that now.

Sensitivity / Morons

Hi there! So, today has not been the best day in the whole entire world. In fact, it has been pretty shitty. It was fine until biology and then the shit hit the fan from there. Let me explain for you guys.

So, I had a double block of AP bio today. We've been working with E.coli for the past week. Pretty dangerous stuff, let me tell you. Anyways, so while some people were in the back checking out the bacteria under the black light to see if the glo gene was successfully transmitted into it, two of my friends were looking out the door. One of my friend's girlfriend walked by to go to her locker. He and my other friend knocked on the glass and waved to her, but she looked and kept walking. Well, this made my friend (her boyfriend) kinda self conscience. He asked me if I would get upset if I was in that situation. I told him that I probably wouldn't and that it probably didn't register to her. Like, sometimes it doesn't hit me until after when people do that. He told me that she walked by twice and that it definitely registered. So I told him not to think anything of it, that she was probably having a bad day. Then, he got all upset and got his panties in a bunch and walked away. Like, if you don't want my opinion, don't ask for it. Take a chill pill.

After that class, I had a headache and I wasn't in a good mood anymore. I mean, our experiment didn't turn out right and I got yelled at for no reason. I was not in the mood to deal with anyone. But, I had another period and this one was with a teacher that I'm not too fond of. Fun.

Finally that class was over and I was leaving. I get in my car, and I back out of my parking space at school. I am coming around the corner to leave the parking lot, and a car cuts through a space going really fast and almost hits me! The car was legit flying. The thing is, they didn't slow down, didn't look to see if anyone was coming, didn't look at me after they almost hit me, didn't ask if I was okay, nothing. They kept the speed they were at and left the parking lot. Are you kidding me right now?! Other people saw this happen too. Even they were like 'dude!' But this person didn't care. Like at all. I said some explicit words in my car at that instant.

Then, I went to go to the Verizon Store to see if they could help me get an international plan for like a month. CAUSE I'M GOING TO SPAIN OVER APRIL VACATION!!! Anyways, they were absolutely no help. -_- They should know this stuff. They work at the Verizon Store! But no.

And now I have to go to work. I'm not in a very good mood, so people should just watch out. I kinda want someone to make my day better. Like come visit me or something. Well, that's it. Bye now!

PS! Good luck to the Girl's Varsity Basketball team for their first round of playoffs!

Are You Kidding Me Right Now?

Oh. My. God. I'm gonna give you guys a warning, this is gonna be a highly explicit post. You cannot believe how mad I am right now. If there is one thing I hate the most, it's confrontation. For some reason, I cannot handle confrontation, which is why I made this. It's kinda where I vent and let things out. Well, get ready for a motherfucking explosion.

So, I got to work tonight. It's a friday night, so I'll be delivering food and working the desk. Mostly working the desk because our snack bad hasn't been busy at all lately. The desk doesn't usually make tips. Some people put down a tip if they pay with a credit card, but it doesn't really happen. For some reason, the open bowlers were tipping tonight. We had quite a few desk tips. The managers can't take tips, so I usually get them. I'm, like, pumped because I never make tips cause most of the time I'm behind the desk, and like I said, the desk ususally doesn't make tips. When you have a tip on a credit card, you have to tip-edit it, and take the cash out of the drawer. We are slammed, like hour and a half wait slammed. So all of the tips the desk was making, were being put to the side so that I could do them when we were slow.

About half way through our busy spell, I hear a lane server talking about how she wasn't making any tips and how it was a bad night and blah blah blah. One of the shift leaders was like "oh, we have plenty of tips at the desk." The lane server was like "Can I have them?" Hell fucking no, you cannot have them. Those are my tips. Like, pipe the fuck down. The shift leader was like "You'll have to split them with Hayley." HELL NO. THESE ARE MY DAMN TIPS. So I keep working, going through the rush. Towards the end of the rush, I go to get something to drink. I come back, and the tip-edits are done. I got a third of the desk tips. ONE THIRD.

Like, what the fuck man. I worked my ass off for those desk tips. I rang people in, put people on lanes, gave people shoes, answered the phone, answered the phone that calls down to the lanes, put up bumpers, put down bumpers, cleaned up spills, got balls that were stuck, put on music, and helped people put in their names. Some of those things at one time. AND I GOT ONE THIRD OF THE FUCKING DESK TIPS?!

The snack bar got one third of the tips. This is understandable. They do a lot of stuff for us. They did pizza bowls and fun packs and all that stuff. They deserved the one third. The last third of the desk tips went to that lane server. THE DESK HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE DAMN BAR. Lane servers make their own damn tips. She did shit. She didn't even deliver food or anything. This bitch gets a third of my tips because she had a "bad night." Like how the fuck do we know if she even had a shitty night?! She could have had $100 in her pocket and we would have no damn clue. None.

I was pissed. I went behind the snack bar for something and one of the people working it tonight was like, "What's wrong?" So I explained the situation and he was like, "What the fuck? That's not fair." No kidding. I was sosososososo mad. If she even said something to me about her night at that point, I would have roundhouse kicked her in the face. Or kicked her in the shin or something. I was piiiiissssssed. I'm still pissed. guregjwrkrejfbcjljgvdrjkns. Fuck. Well, that's the end of my story. Have a fan-fucking-tastic night.

Things That Are Annoying

Hello friends. I'm going to tell you some very annoying things in the following sentences. Maybe it's just me, but these are things that have annoyed me lately. Maybe you guys think they're annoying too. Here we go!

#1- When you make plans and work calls you in.
Okay, this has happened to me, like, three times in a row. The people I work for just don't know how to schedule properly. Yesterday, I wasn't even supposed to work. I was going to have a girl's night with my friends and then one of my managers asked me if I could work because someone was by themselves. When people are by themselves, I feel bad saying no. Not only did they call me in on one of my days off, but they called me in early too. Just for the record, I didn't need to go in early. I did, like, nothing all night.

#2- When someone doesn't text you back
I swear people just have fun ignoring me. It's probably a club or something. Like sorry I annoyed you with my friendship, but I didn't text you to exercise my fingers. I want a damn reply. This gets really annoying if I'm texting someone who is a fellow iPhone holder and they have their read receipt on. Like, I can see that you read my message and are not responding. We were in the middle of a perfectly good conversation and then you read my message and don't respond. K, cool. (For anyone out there who doesn't know how I text, when I break out the "k." I'm like beyond mad. I am not illiterate, just pissed off beyond belief.)

#3- When someone doesn't talk to you all day, but then decides to text you in the wee hours of the morning.
Granted it being vacation and all, If you text me at like 2 or even 3 sometimes I may answer you. If you text me at like 4 or 5 in the morning, expecting a response, it's not gonna happen. I'm sleeping. There may be that one instance when I get up to pee and see your message and respond, but I'm going back to bed after that. If you text me like super early in the morning and are surprised when I'm not responding, take a second to ask yourself, "Is she sleeping?" cause the answer is yes, yes I am. OR there's the combination of #2 and #3. When my friends text me super early in the morning and wake me up from my slumber. Then, I text back cause now I'm awake. They read it, AND DON'T TEXT M E BACK. Why would you text me, and wake me up, and then not answer me?! THAT, my friends, is really really annoying.

#4- When you care about someone more than they care about you.
This isn't really annoying, but it's heartbreaking. Especially when you know that you care about them more than they care about you and you can't help but still care about them so so so much. That's really the part that sucks. It's like there's nothing you can do about it.

But that's all I can think of right now. If I think of anymore, I will let you know. Bye friends!

Looking Pretty Makes Your Day Pretty!

Hi guys! Today's post is gonna be something a little different. It's gonna be like a motto/life lessen mix. Kinda. Maybe it's not like that at all and I'm just bad at explaining things. There's a good possibility that that is the answer.

Anyways, this is my motto. What I like to think and/or live my life by. A theory of mine, if you will. If you look pretty and/or feel pretty, you will have a good day. Even if you think that something bad is going to happen, I feel like looking pretty lessens the crap-load dropped on you throughout the day. Now I understand that there are just those days where you feel like looking like a complete bum, and I am in no way saying that you should not have those days. I get it, sometimes you just need 'em. But, I just feel like looking nice and trying to look nice will just brighten your mood. Like if somebody tells you something crappy, you can just say to yourself, "Hey, at least I look nice." If all else fails, you look pretty, nice, fantastic, all of the above.

I have evidence of my own that kind of proves this too.
Example #1: On Thursday (Valentine's Day) I decided I should at least attempt to look nice since it's a holiday and all. Thursday turned out to be a pretty great day. Trust me, Valentine's Day usually isn't my thing since I've never really had anyone to celebrate with other than my family. And I still didn't this year, but it was a great day.
Example #2: Today (Friday) was an early release. On early release days, everyone at school tends to wear sweatpants cause after school they're usually going back to bed. Well today, I wanted to look nice. I just felt like it. I straightened my hair, had on a really cute outfit, did my make-up all nice, the works. Well, I got a 13/15 on my AP bio quiz (like the hardest quiz all year), got a free 100% on my history quiz, did like nothing in school all day, and have been in a fantastic mood all day long. Then I had work tonight. I felt like keeping the trend going. So instead of keeping my hair in a boring, straight old ponytail, I curled my ponytail. I feel like curly hair looks nicer on me for some reason. I stuck a headband on, kept in my favorite leaf earrings, and reapplied mascara to make my lashes pop. My night and my mood were great.

One thought I have about this is when you look nice, more people give you compliments. Compliments make everyone feel good about themselves. This lifts your mood, which makes your day better. I like to think my theory/motto/life lessen is completely accurate, and that this is one of my genius moments. Plus, the use of the words theory and evidence makes me feel smart and scientific ;) Well, I think that's it. I hope I have thrust my knowledge upon you(: have a pretty day!

Western Mass

Hi friends! So we had Western Mass for swimming today. It was pretty good. We left Westfield High School at like 9:30 at night. It was a long day. By this time, we should all have a good idea of how clumsy I am. So it really should be no surprise to anyone that I hurt myself today. Here's the story.

So I was in the first event which was the 200 Medley Relay. For those of you who do not know what that means, it means that the first person in the pool does backstroke, the second person does breaststroke, the third person does butterfly, and the last person does freestyle. Each person does a 50 (2 laps) which adds to 200. I am the third person. So everything was going good. I swam my butterfly and I was getting out of the pool. The pool had a little ledge going around the side of it and that is where the touch pads were sitting. So I pulled myself out enough where I could stand on the edge and then get on the legit ground. Well, when I was putting my second foot on the ledge, my first foot slipped. When it slipped off, it bent an awkward way. I caught myself so I didn't fall back in the pool, but when I went to go put weight on my right foot (which was the one that bent awkwardly) it hurt so bad. I couldn't put pressure on it. My first thought was that it was broken. So the trainer the was there came over.

This trainer, oh my goodness. He was an airhead. He kept poking the same spot, and I kept saying ouch cause it hurt. AND THEN HE ASKS ME IF IT HURT. LIKE NO DUMMY. I'M SAYING OUCH BECAUSE IT DOESN'T HURT. COME ON NOW. And then he asks me if I have any events after this. I still had the 200 freestyle relay to do. So he asked how long it was until then. It was a couple of hours. He asked me if I was going to swim in it. Yes, I am going to swim in it. So he looked at my coach like, 'you're going to let her swim in it?' and she was like yeah. When he looked back at me, I was like "the only way I wouldn't be swimming in that event is if my ankle was no longer connected to my leg." He thought I was crazy, I thought he was an airhead.

In the end, I did end up swimming in the relay. I swam a 29.68 for a 50, which is pretty damn good. Considering I never swim 29s and I have a hurt ankle. There is a good chance I lightly sprained it cause it is a little swollen and hurts to bend. But, that is my Western Mass story. I had to make it interesting at least ;) Bye friends!

Follow-up to My Night Tonight

So, for those of you who read My Night Tonight, you know I took a digger in my driveway at like 12:40 this morning. By the waaaaaay, a digger is falling. I know some people don't know what that means. It's like a selected saying. Some people know it, some people don't. So saying "I took a digger" means the same thing as "I fell." Slang lesson of the day! You're welcome.

Anyways, I woke up this morning looking like a hot mess. My make up was everywhere. Still kind of a mystery as to how it got like that cause it has never done that before. My hair.. actually lets not mention my hair. Yes, it was that bad. I look like a had a pretty rough night last night. One of the drinking variety. But I didn't! Awkwaaaaard.

Besides the fact that I woke up looking like a hot mess, I went to go walk to the bathroom. Oh my goodness. My butt hurts so bad. I'm pretty sure I bruised something. Like ouch. Work today should be super fun. If you can't tell over the computer, that was completely 100% sarcasm right there. I'm actually really dreading this. I'm not sure if I should ice it. Would that be like a faux pas since I hurt it in the first place with ice? As strange as this sounds, and chances are I have not thought this through yet since I just woke up like 10 minutes ago, I feel like if I put ice on it, this ice will be mocking me since I feel on ice last night. You all think I'm either crazy and/or drunk right now. And that does not bother me one bit cause chances are, I don't know, like, most of you anyways. If any of you.

I think that's it. I wanted to update you guys on my situation. Bye now!

My Night Tonight

Now, this of you who may have seen me at the beginning of my night tonight, say 5 pm or so, I may have given you the "go fall off the nearest cliff and leave me the hell alone" look. If I gave you that look, or any version of that look, I do sincerely apologize. Let me just explain my situation to you.

So, I was talking to two of my friends around 1pm and we were planning on doing something. I was picking them up around 5, we were going bowling. Then we were going to Olive Garden for dinner. And to top off the night, we were going to watch Pitch Perfect. (highly recommended if you haven't seen it yet!) Sounds like a pretty kick ass night there, right?! I thought so.

Then, around 4:30 I'm warming up my car cause it tends to be temperamental when it comes to starting it in the cold. And by temperamental, I mean that it doesn't start in the cold unless I work some magic. Anyways, like a half an hour before I go to pick up my friends, I get a call from work. That's never good. They want me to come in. Someone called out and they want me to cover. Me, being the nice person I am, said yes because I didn't want to leave my coworker high and dry for the league rush. At first I was like "you can't be serious" and then I got to thinking, I'll probably only be there for league and then they'll let me leave because it's crappy out and no one will want to venture into the cold. Then I can still go out, just a little later. I was wrong. I got to work and they were like "oh, you're staying til 11." Fan-freaking-tastic. Way to eff up my plans. Stupid work.

But, as the shift goes on, it isn't so bad. Not too too busy. A few rushes here and there. My friends came to see me. And time was actually flying. I didn't get out of there until like 12:20 though cause I didn't want to leave my coworker with everything left to close. So I finally left and got home around 12:40.

Now, you're probably thinking this is then end to my little story. Well, my friends, it is your turn to be wrong now. I shut off my car, get out, and start walking inside. THAT is when I hit a patch of ice and fell right on my butt. Man did that hurt. Like I think I broke my butt. I kinda sat there for a minute, like stunned. Then I got back up and waddled to my porch and into my house. I say waddled because I just landed on my tailbone and it was a little tender. When I tell me dad this, he thinks it's the funniest thing. Well thanks father.

Okay. That's pretty much it. I've been watching Jenna Marbles for the past 3 hours. I'm productive. I do recommend her videos on YouTube too. They are hilarious. Go watch them. Go on. Well, that's about it. Just kidding. I have had "Jenna Marbles, gettin people pregnannnnt" stuck in my head for over 24 hours. Okay, now I think that's it. Toodles!

Absence

Hi friends! This morning I'm laying in bed and a thought pops into my head. Not a random thought though. I've actually need thinking about it quite a bit. You know how they say "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"? For those of you who don't understand this, it means that when someone is away from you, you grow to like them even more. Now, I don't get this shit. I mean, I feel like there's an expiration date or something that goes with this statement. Like sure, if said person is gone for like a month or two max, then the statement makes sense. But what about for like a year or more than that? Then the lines get all fuzzy. Like I feel like said person is going to forget about you. And what if the person that is gone changes? Or you change? Who says ya'll are still gonna like each other when said person comes back? I don't know man. It's a fishy statement to me. It's not like a guarantee, ya know? Not set in stone that its gonna happen like that. I'd like to know if it actually will happen like that. I like a guaranty, because the unknown is scary. It can change something in a matter of seconds no matter how you feel about it. And you may never get it back to how it was. So yeah, that was my little pondering moment that I'd figure I would share with you guys. Have a good day! And if you're on the east coast, stay warm and safe! The snow and wind is crazy! Bye loves!

:(

Okay, so I have been talking about my friend that's moving to Hawaii in the past few posts. Not a lot, but still. Anyways, so the dreaded day is tomorrow. It came so fast. :( So, this is like a tribute, I guess? Except, I think tributes only happen when you're dead, and he's not dead. So... Awks.

Anyways, I met Dakoda about 2 years or so ago. He was working where I work now, but at the time I was just a frequent customer. We did the normal casualties. The "hi", "bye", "have a good night" all that fun stuff. Like the polite stuff. I mean, we didn't know each other very well at the time. Then, this past summer, I started helping out at the job I work at now. I would go there and volunteer, like, every time I wasn't doing anything. I volunteered a lot on Tuesday. Dakoda worked on Tuesdays. That's when we got to know each other better and really become friends. I would vent quite a bit about boy problems and he would listen. It was the best. And we had these conversations about hypothetical situations. Sometimes it would be a 'would you rather' type of deal ;) That's really how he became to be one of my best friends. And in the past few months, we've been getting closer and closer. At least it feels that way to me. He can make me laugh by doing virtually nothing, and make my day better without even knowing it or knowing that he's doing it.

Unfortunately, Dakoda is moving tomorrow. To Hawaii :( Well, I guess it's today technically, but whatever. It sucks either way. It really does. Like in sociology today, someone brought up Hawaiians and I wanted to cry. I'm pretty sure if someone says something to me about it tomorrow, I'll burst out crying. It's going to be an awful day.

I was driving home tonight and I was sobbing in the car. I stopped at the Mobil Station. The lady at the cash register was giving me sad eyes. Not helping. So I got back in the car and cried all the way home. If that's any indication to what tomorrow is going to be like, I should just stay home. :(

Anyways, I primarily made this post to tell everyone reading how much I'm going to miss Dakoda. Like so so so so so so so much. And that he really is like my best friend and that I love him and how he is one of my favorite people in the whole entire world and all that stuff. So, yeah. Okay, well I should probably go to bed now and face my fate tomorrow. Nighty night.

Late Night/Early Morning Talks

Okay so it's 4:02 in the morning and I'm not sleeping. I'm thinking. Which is never good in any way. What I'm thinking about you wonder? Well, one of my best friends is leaving for Hawaii indefinitely in 4 days): that's mostly what I'm thinking about. Plus the fact that I feel like I annoy people when I text them first. And then I just wanna know if I actually do. Ugh I don't even know if I'm making sense right now. I should go before I say something relatively stupid. Bye now

Hawaii

When you think of Hawaii, a normal person thinks of relaxation and palm trees and other tropical things like that. When I think of Hawaii, I just get sad. My chest clenches and I just get sad. I know it isn't normal to react like that, but how can I not? One of my best friends is moving to Hawaii in two weeks and two days. And lately, that's all I can think about. Every song I listen to reminds me of him and how he is going to be leaving and it sucks. It just sucks. I was driving with my friends today and Daylight by Maroon 5 came on the radio and I had to fight back tears. "And when daylight comes I'll have to go, but tonight I wanna hold you so close." Like, how can I not relate that to the situation. He's leaving. Out of the state, out of the time zone, all the way across the country. It sucks. It really does. And when this dreaded day comes, I'll be a mess. I know I will be :(

My Job

Oh my goodness. So this week I was supposed to work Monday, Saturday, and Sunday. Well, I couldn't work on Monday because I had pneumonia. Now today I hear that they are hiring people to work the front desk (which is where I usually am). That's fine, like I don't really care if they hire people for the desk, but when my hours are cut to begin with and they are hiring more people is when I get confused. Technically, I'm a floater, which means that I work wherever they need me except for the bar and behind the machines. But they never put me in the snack bar, so I'm primarily a desk person. And I'm like the only one who delivers food. But, I'm not going to be a glorified waitress and have like no hours so they can hire someone else. Like that's stupid, dontcha think? OH not to mention that I apparently "don't count." Let me tell you about this one. I was at a staff meeting last Sunday and they were talking about upselling pizza bowls at the desk. And someone asked if the people at the desk asks if people want to add a large appetizer for 20% off to their pizza bowl. And I said that I ask people if they want to, and one of my managers turns to me and goes, "well you don't count." OKAY THEN. WHY AM I HERE IF I DON'T COUNT?! If I "don't count" and am going to be overlooked, I'll probably start looking for a different job. Maybe somewhere where I will count.  Well anyways, this was kind of a rant, so thanks! :)