Managing (Part 2)

With everything aside, I still love my girls. They are like my children. They are struggling in this game. We have been undefeated since 2010. It hurts me to see them struggling, knowing there is nothing that I can do to help them. My heart is breaking for them right now. Come on Lady Lions! You can do this!

Managing

So I manage the girls volleyball team. This is my third year doing it. I have been since I was a freshman. I'm the only manager that has been with them since I was a freshman. Last year and freshman year, I was too young to work, so I didn't. Obviously. But this year I can work and I do. I have a job,. I've been doing my best jumping between school, work, and volleyball practices and games. I'm a busy girl. And lately, I've had two of the players-one for JV and one for varsity- "joke" that I'm not a manager because I'm never here. Like fuck that. I've only missed a few games (only two home ones which are the ones that actually do something at) and a few practices (which I don't do anything at anyways). So to be told that I don't count as a "manager anymore" pisses me off. I FUCKING WORK. It's not like I'm missing practices and games for no reason. So why don't you players who think that unravel your panties from their bunches and realize that I wouldn't miss stuff for no reason and that I had another commitment. They should know me better than that anyways.

Being Ignored Part 2

The fact that I had to make another blog post about home much I hate being ignore should prove that I fucking hate it. Like honestly, it's like someone saying "fuck you." I just wanna walk by them and be like "okay then. Fuck you too buttface." Like its one thing to not answer someone because you didn't hear them or you didn't know they were talking to you, but its completely different to know they are talking to you and just ignore them like they aren't there. Ugh! It freakin pisses me off bro.

That Girl

I have a problem. A boy problem. So I like this boy, but he has a girlfriend. Boys with girlfriends are off limits. It's like girl code or just the humane thing to do. Like I was that girl one time and that was a huge mistake. I don't want to go back there. The guy just used me. We didn't hook up or anything, but he cheated on his girlfriend. I don't know about you guys, but I like to relate my life to songs. And strangely, so many songs are like, my life.

1) We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift

Oh my goodness. This is like 10000% my life. My absolute favorite part of the song is when she sings, "So he calls me up, and he's like 'I still love you' and I'm like, just like, ugh, we are never getting back together, like, ever." You don't know how many times my ex pulls this shit on me. Like, honestly. And I fell for it every time. Every. Single. Time. Until now. Now, I'm just like mhmmmm suuuuuuure. 

2) Inevitable by Jessie James

I just listened to this today for the first time is such a long time, and it really reminds me of my situation right now. One line, specifically, makes me think. "Why don't you tell her about me? Tell her the truth." I'm pretty sure this guy's girlfriend doesn't know that me and her boyfriend talk. If she does know about me, I'm sure the extent of her knowledge is that we work together. If he is so tempted by me, I don't get why he doesn't just break up with her. Okay, that was kinda selfish, but still. Like if you really like someone you shouldn't like someone else, right? Ugh. 

But then I was thinking. Just because your tempted by someone, doesn't necessarily mean that you like that someone. It could just mean that you want to hook up with them. I'm not that kind of girl. I'm not a hump&dump kind of girl. I want a relationship. I can't not get attached. I'm a very emotional person. And maybe I'm overthinking or something. But maybe not. I do know something though. I absolutely do NOT want to be THAT girl.

Why? Because that girl gets a bad rap. That girl gets shit on for, like, ever. That girl always feel like crap afterwards, like she's a bad person. That girl never wins. 

My Best Friend

My best friend had to be one of the prettiest girls on the planet. Inside and out. Gorgeous. She's super shy, but with some people she's an absolute maniac.

She has like the perfect life. Perfect family, perfect personality, perfect everything. She is literally flawless. I can't think of one flaw or bad thing about her.

She just did a cover of Nicki Minaj's Super Bass. It was like an acoustic version of it. And is was AMAZING. I never knew she could sing. Let alone sing like that. Like I was blown away. That's how good it was.

Anyways, I just thought I would let ya'll meet my bestest friend, Kenzie.

Observing

Hey guys! Wow, I've been posting a lot lately. It's this google blogger app for my phone. Yes, there is an app for that. I know, I'm cheesy. Anyways, with this app I can rant, rage, and talk to you guys as much as I want to. Great huh? I think so.

Anyways, I consider myself to be an observer. A listener. Don't get me wrong, I love talking as much as the next person, but sometimes I just like to listen. Especially when I'm in a large group of people. Like at a bonfire for example. I'll sit around the fire and listen to everything. I'll listen to people rant and rage, or the crickets or something else in nature. It depends.

When I don't talk, people tend to think I'm in a bad mood. This is not always the case. And they never take the "I just don't have anything to say" line. But most of the time it's true! Sometimes I really don't have anything to say. I just listen. If someone is talking to me, I'll answer them. But if everyone is talking to each other, I tend to just sit back and listen.

This is part of the reason I want to be a therapist. I am a good listener and I am good at observing someone's behavior or body language. The other part is that I like to help people and give people advice.

But yeah, I consider myself to be an observer. A listener. Sometimes a talker. Plus, I feel like in large groups, your secrets get spread faster of you talk. I like my secrets to remain secrets. They keep people interested ;)

Being Ignored

Oh my gosh. I absolutely hate being ignored. Like it is my #1 pet peeve. Like fucking answer me dammit. It's not that fucking hard. It absolutely pissssssses me off. Okay. Another slight rant this evening. Thanks!

Such a Good Mood

So I was in such a good mood all day. ALL DAY. I mean, I got an 88 on my AP bio quiz (I count that as a 108 on a normal quiz because its AP) and my class (class of 2014) won pride week for the second year in a row. I painted my nails, finally. And I was in SUCH a good mood. Then I came to work.

Sometimes when I come to work, my good mood remains. Not tonight. Everyone has such a crappy attitude. When people have are in a crappy mood, it tends to bring your mood down. Plus, my monthly present came to visit this week so my moods are fucking swinging.

Everything was good until everyone got in a pissy mood. That instantly changed my mood. Plus if you treat me like shit, I'm not going to be all ponys and roses. Like no. Then you're like "dude, I think she's mad." No fucking shit Sherlock. And then proceed to talk about me in your "secret language" which you think I can't understand, but I do. Real smooth. Like fucking butter.

So yeah. I just ranted to whoever was reading this, so thanks. You guys are the best!

Seriously?

Sometimes people piss me the hell off. Like honestly. I was have such a good day too and people just have to go and ruin it. Like omg.
*Back Story* So when I was in 5th grade, I was bullied off of the swim team. Because this girl was mad because I was better than she was. I was swimming for longer than she was. Tell me how that makes sense. Please. So I took all of middle school off from swimming. So three years. Now that's kind of a long time. Anyways, so I go back to swimming my freshman year of high school. And everything was going good. I was a little rusty, but it's like riding a bike, ya know? You never forget how to do it. And the kicker? I was still better than she was and she didn't take any tome off. Lol you suck.
Now I'm a Junior. And this winter I'll be on the swim team again. We have 3 captains for the girls team. All seniors. We have had a sad occurrence that just past so I thought to get everyone in a good, happy mood again, I'd plan a team bonding bonfire at my house. I planned it all, took the day off, the whole shebang. So I told everyone that I needed an answer to whether they were going by the 1st of October. So when no one really responded, I sent out another message.
This is where things get interesting. I get a text message from a captain asking me to not plan anymore team bonding sessions because normally captains or seniors do that. Are you serious?! AND she said to not talk about apparel anymore because they want to do that. MY MOM ORDERS THE APPAREL. Like you have to be kidding right now. So I was like whatever.
So my mom and I are talking about it later and she told me I should say something. But I don't want to because I don't want to start shit. But mainly, I don't want to be bullied off the swim team again. Swimming is my outlet. It destresses me. If I lose swimming again, I'm not going to be fun to deal with. So I tell my mom I don't want to say anything. That I'll just drop it. Does she understand this? No. Of course not. She goes and messages the captains and talks about it. Like what are you doing? I specifically said that I wanted to drop it and then she does this.
If shit is going to start because of this and my life becomes hell, maybe I'll just swim recreationally. That's not what I want though. I love the team. Everything was great before this and they are like my second family. I don't know what's changed, if anything, but I want to go back to how it was freshman year.
But that was pretty much what I had to say. That people piss me off sometimes. And yeah. Okay, bye. I'm going to bed, so goodnight.